You Got Mario in My Sonic...
Somari reviewed by Ojo de Gallo
Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games is getting hype as the first meeting of those video game icons. Don't buy it. Mario visited Sonic's world more than 10 years ago in a pirate game from Hong Kong called Somari. The two never meet on-screen, but Mario is wearing Sonic's shoes, which suggest something off-screen. I imagine Mario jumping out from behind a bush, turtle shell in hand, beaning Sonic from behind and making off with the shoes.
Holy crap-a! I'm-a run so fast-a!
The programmers took a few liberties with the level maps, but Somari is more-or-less an 8-bit version of Sonic 1 with Mario as the hero. It has everything you loved in the Sonic games. Running. Jumping. Spinning. As well as none of those things you also loved, like checkpoints and extra lives. No checkpoints means starting the level over form the beginning whenever you die, something that's very frustrating when you're learning a tricky part of a level or fighting a boss for the first time. You may not even notice the extra life for collecting 100 rings is missing. Not because you won't need them, but because it's almost impossible to go long enough without getting hit to make it to 100 rings.
Oh no! Now I gotta start-a the whole-a level over!
Being a hastily assembled pirate game, Somari is beset with technical flaws. The graphics are not just flickery, they're downright glitchy. Platforms appear at the edge of the screen that aren't really there. Some rings refuse to be picked up, no matter how many time Mario passes over them. The entire world of Mobius seems to be covered in a thin sheet of ice because Mario can't start or stop. And the music. Oh the music. It's like a bad middle eastern version of the Sonic music. And it only gets worse when sped up, so avoid the invincibility power-up. Trust me.
Everything's-a green 'cause I'm-a undawata.
Somari is one of those games that exists only to make those who have played it feel cooler than those who haven't. Like owning a bootleg Jimi Hendrix live ablum that was made with a tape recorder stuffed in some dude's jacket that was so far away from the stage you can't even hear Jimi when the dude starts flirting with the drunk chick in front of him. So download the ROM (Good luck finding the actual cartridge. eBay assumed I'd misspelled Somali.) and give it a whirl. You'll be very disappointed, but someone somewhere will envy you.
| Grahics: 4 |
| The game looks very dull and flat. |
| Sound: 1 |
| Make...the music...stop... |
| Gameplay: 3 |
| Like Sonic, but slower and glitchier. |
| Overall: 3 |
| Once the novelty wears off, you quickly realize how terrible it is. |
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